IT'S MORE FUN IN AFABLE HOOD!!

* Generic PUV:

Kumag: Pagbilan nga?
K. Mel: Ano yun?
Kumag: Meron kayong "Alaxan FX"?
( Tumbling si kuya Mel!!) Hahaaay!!

* Battle of the Brainless:

Boy 1: Ano ang english ng "baka"?
Boy 2: Ahhh (nag-isip pa) "beef"! (with conviction)
Boy 3: (Sumingit) Ano? Baka "MEAT"!!
    (Laglag lahat ng naka-upo sa paligid)

Boy 1: (Ayaw tumigil) O cge, ano english ng tupa?
Boy 3:     Bahala kayo!! (Umayaw na tuloy)

* Hoops Commentary:

Mauubos na po ang shot(block) ... tinira na ... 3 , 2 , 1 Pumasok!!

Player 1: Wow naman "Buzzer-beeper"!!
Player 2: WTF!?
Player 1: (Humirit pa) "Scorer-machine" talaga yan!! (Damn!)

* Veggies Galore:

Boy FT 1: Bumili ka nga ng 2 "Broccoli" yun maliit lang.
Boy FT 2: Cge, wait lang ...
(Pagkatapos ng ilang minuto)

Boy FT 2: Pre, walang maliit, malaki na binili ko.
(Paglapag sa mesa, tumunog ng malakas)

Boy FT 1: Bakit ganun, nasa lata pa binili mo?

(Paglabas sa plastic namangha yun nagluluto)
Boy FT 1: Dalawang malaking lata ng "Hokkaido"!!
(Ang labo nyo pre!)

* Misa De Gallo:

After ng Simbang gabi, pagkatapos kumain ng almusal sa kalye...

Baliw 1:     Busog ka na ba?
Mas Baliw:   Paano naman ako mabubusog, eh kumain na ko ng "Soup-paw"!
   (Ano daw? Sopas, Siopao o Sabaw?)
Baliw 1:    Umuwi ka na!! (Hindot!)

* Fireworks:

New Year's Day, isang batikang "martial artist" ang nagtanong sa mga tambay..

MA: Ano mas malakas na paputok, yung ngayon o nakaraan?
(Halatang may hang-over pa kaya walang pumansin)

(Ngunit, hindi nagpatalo, sinagot ang sariling tanong)
MA: Yung nakaraaannnn... (na parang nangangarate lang)
        (Betlog!!)

* All Apologies:

Pagkatapos ng inuman, syempre FT-han muna bago umuwi.
Paglabas ng nagluto may dalang umuusok na kaldero . . .

Tanga:  Makikiraan... cencia na konti lang sabaw...
(Natahimik at nagtaka lahat ng waiting)

Kurt:  Tarantado "Pancit Canton" pinaluto ko sa 'yo!! (Patay!)

* Antonio Mariñas Quotes:

Pagkatapos ulit-ulitin ang palabas ni "Nostradamus"...  Habang nakatambay
may nakita siyang dalawang kakilala..Biglang naging analyst:

(Nakakita ng Pastor)
AM: Yan si "The man who saw tomorrow'!! (tawanan)

(Biglang dumaan c Attorney)
AM: Yan naman si "The man who promised tomorrow!! (Humorous)

* Piolo Pascual Scene:

After ng laban ni Pacquiao, may bumida sa tumpukan ...

BN: Muntik pa matalo si Pacman kanina!
K. Mel: Madaya yun kalaban eh!

BN: Bobo yun ref, 2 beses "Binlow-jab" si Manny nung Round 3!
K. Mel: Ano?

BN: Db? Tapos "Binlow-jab ulit nung Round 5 ska nakita ng Ref!!
K. Mel: Nakupooo!
(Napatakbo si Kuya Mel!) (Low-Blow tanga!)

* Good-Time Girls:

Birthday ng tropa nasa loob ng beerhouse, may sumasayaw na babae (matabang-olats)
Sa saliw ng "I don't wanna miss a thing" by Aerosmith.. (todo giling)

KV: (Titig na titig) Sayang to. Tsk!
JE: (Sinigurado) Ano sabe mo pre?

KV: Sayang tong babae may hitsura pa naman sana ...
JE: (Nairita) Amp! may balak ka pa iahon yan sa putik?

KV: (Natameme) Hindi naman sa ganun ...
JE: (Hindi na nakatiis) Gago, wala ka talagang taste!! (Ano Boyet?)

* Mga Honorable Mentions na naalala ko pa din:

- Ismash potato - Utol kong Hudlung
- Margaya -Holeng
- Paparapapa ..(Jollibee) -Sporsche Car na Red (Momo)
- Boyz2Men sa doorbell -TechniSign (technician)
- HO2 Boys -Afable Juorney
- Hari ng Osob -Naputulan sa Bo-Kart
- Sizzling plate -Sakay sa Wa-ffer (Hopper)
- Nakita ko Nawala -Sa lamig, malabas
- Baby Owel -feat JaRule
- Slamdunk sa Jeddah -Di pa Now Showing

TITANIC REVISITED

TITANIC REVISITED

Top Ten Things We Have Learned From The Titanic:

10. Winning a ship ticket from gambling (Russian Poker) is not recommended specially when you're in a cheap pub in London. It could change a fortune. (Full House boys!)

9. Rescuing a gorgeous lady in distress, armed with a suicidal tendency that somehow merits your involvement could be fatal. (You jump, I jump, remember?)

8. Spitting 101: This can hook you up with an "A-List" type of lady no matter how gross it could be. (Spit like a man!)

7. There is no such thing as an "unsinkable ship", the ratio between lifeboats to passengers should never be overlooked. Half of the people in the ship are going to die. (Not the better half!)

6. Speed kills. Colliding with a huge iceberg, no matter how inadvertently, could make for a dubious headline. Don't push it Capitan. (You have your headline Mr Ismay!)

5. Women love their diamonds, although it couldn't buy a forced matrimony or save a dwindling family fortune. In other words, don't be a spoiled jerk. (I make my own luck!)

4. Be the consumate professional. Whenever some hot girl volunteered to pose naked for you to feast your eyes upon, wearing only this (necklace), don't think about inserting your shaft right away and ramming her like there's no more tomorrow. Take your time, it will come! (Put your hands on me!)

3. It's really a privilege playing alongside your bandmates. You can take the queue from those guys aboard the ship. Stop giving me the "due to irreconcilable differences" lame excuses alright? (No one is listening to us!)

2. True love comes in the most unexpected time and in the most unlikeliest person. But you don't have any right in being a slacker, be a go-getter. (I'll never let go!)

1. Learn to appreciate life. Be always thankful! Here's an excerpt from Mr. Dawson's character:

"I mean, I got everything I need right here with me. I got air in my lungs, a few blank sheets of paper. I mean, I love waking up in the morning not knowing what's gonna happen or, who I'm gonna meet, where I'm gonna wind up. Just the other night I was sleeping under a bridge and now here I am on the grandest ship in the world having champagne with you fine people.

I figure life's a gift and I don't intend on wasting it. You don't know what hand you're gonna get dealt next. You learn to take life as it comes at you... to make each day count."

Well said Jack!! RIP !!


- jayskiender
0040262k12 THU
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